Couples: Violence in The Relationship is Calculated
October 28th 2009 -
When slamming the partner, he is apparently not completely lose control of himself. Rather, the measure of all violence is calculated in relationships: The partner that verbal or physical violence exerts go only so far as he did not fear any serious consequences, researchers report in a communication from the University of Haifa, Israel, 26 October.
The study’s leader, Dr. Eila Perkis compared the various forms of violence in couple relationships. In most cases, increased aggressiveness in stages – from verbal violence, the threat of strikes to light to severe physical violence. “Someone who uses verbal abuse, may well pass the time with the threat of physical attacks, and from there it goes downhill towards the exercise of this threat,” says Perkis. Severe attacks without warning, however, are rare.
The level of violence directed to the consequences, which had feared the aggressive partner – usually the man in the study – to. For example, the portfolio risk that the abused partner would leave him or go to the police restricted the aggressors, their attacks. Both sides know where the boundary lies even if it is not openly talked about it, says Dr. Perkis.
The finding that violent partner can control their actions could help in couple therapy. Most couples want to stay together despite the violence occurring. Hard to enforce the consequences of misconduct of a partner that could prevent an escalation of violence perhaps typical.
Tags: couple, violence in the relationship
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